INSPIRING MONDAYS WITH EDU: HAPPINESS AND FREEDOM (IN) IMPERFECTION

MAY THE POWER OF IMPERFECTION BE WITH YOU

One of the magazines that is worth recommending to anyone who is interested in self-development and self-understanding is the psychological magazine "Charaktery". Fragments of particularly interesting articles and book titles that were mentioned there will certainly appear on the EDU blog many times.

The first article I want to recommend to you is The Imperfect, Free, Happy by Joanna Wrześniowska, published in the issue, the theme of which is "The Power of Imperfection". Why this particular article and such a topic? Because at least most of us are or are unhappy because of the demands we make on ourselves, because we constantly feel that we are not good enough, too much of this or that, not enough of this or that. This applies to both adults and children; and in the face of the challenges of the new school year, the pace of modern life and the feeling of being constantly in competition with someone - it's no wonder that both older and younger often struggle with the nagging thought "I'm not good enough".

In her article, Joanna Wrześniowska points out:

“We often do not accept our weaknesses, we are afraid to admit them. And at the same time, we are unable to change them. It is worth looking at yourself from the side and asking yourself about your own weak points: can I change anything in this matter? If I can change, I'm working on it. If not, I learn acceptance.

Although it seems simple, it takes time, patience, consistency and regularity in action. I emphasize - in action. It is not enough to think that we are changing or accepting something. [...]

We often think: What am I trying to do?! It's too difficult, it will surely end in a fiasco, I don't have enough competence, no one in my family has tried it. These thoughts keep us stuck. [...]

We notice our thoughts, we do not pretend that they are not there, because if we push them away, they will come back with double strength. It is better to pay attention to them by accepting their presence, but not to succumb to them, not to allow their content to enslave us, to stop us from doing what is important to us.

A good way to get out of the crowd of thoughts is the so-called. sorting (or sorting). All the products of our mind can be divided into several categories. They include ordinary thoughts (well, it's 4pm, the sky is blue, and my head is blank), there are emotions (I'm angry, I'm sad, I feel regret, I'm ashamed), sensations in the body (my throat is dry, my stomach growls), judgments (but it's stupid, it doesn't make sense, I didn't make it). There are also desires (I'd love to run away), memories (it used to be different) and planning (I'll tell him what I think about it, I'll start losing weight tomorrow).

Let's take a look at the thoughts that appear in our head and try to arrange them in one of the above drawers. It can be difficult at first, because we usually pay attention to the content of thoughts, not their type, but after a while it turns into fun. And when we focus on pigeonholing, thoughts lose their power [...]”.

TEN RULES OF A GOOD LIFE

Many articles in "Characters" were enriched with so-called applications - additional statements, comments, development of some threads from the main argument. In the text we are interested in, one of such applications is the list of “Good rules

about life”; as the author explains, there is no such thing as a perfect recipe for a perfect life - but there are ways to make it better. It is worth quoting these rules, because if not all of them, then at least some of them may prove useful in our everyday life:

• " Live here and now - do not deal with the past, because you have no influence on it, and in the future not everything will depend on you. You can only change now.
• Act instead of thinking - thinking alone won't change anything. Once you figure out what you want to do to make your life meaningful, take action.
• Accept what you cannot change, replace what you can change.
• Set small goals for yourself - if you want to lose weight, cut sugar first, then junk food, reduce portion sizes, start exercising. Small steps allow you to experience small successes, and these build our inner strength.
• Breathe and look at the world around you - this is the best way to ground yourself in the present and distance yourself from the flood of disturbing thoughts.
• Be mindful - when you walk, just walk: pay attention to your movements, to your breathing, to how you feel the ground beneath your feet. When you talk to someone rei, be in full contact with them. It is worth coming back to reality and receiving it consciously.
• Notice the beauty - mindfulness is being open to the world; delight, the singing of birds, the pensive face of an old woman, the smell of rain...
• Know why you do something - the reasons for actions, or values, are like the fuel of a ship, the wind in the sails, and goals are like beacons; goals alone lead to burnout after some time, so you need a reason that gives your actions and life meaning.
• Make room for emotions - let them be, but remember that you can always choose how you express your emotions: when you feel furious, you can throw a plate, scream, cry, breathe deeply, watch your anger grow and describe it, you don't have to do what anger tells you.
• Remember to be gentle with yourself and others – don't keep blaming yourself for something you didn't do or did something wrong; we are only human, we make mistakes - it is important to notice them and change something. Remember the small gestures of kindness - bring your wife coffee in bed, walk your neighbor's dog, and you will see how your life will brighten up."

WEAKNESS IS STRENGTH

It is from imperfection that the desire to develop further and further arises, it is the awareness of our own weaknesses that protects us from the delusion that we already know and can do everything, so we do not have to try harder. Our mistakes also allow us to be more understanding of other people's shortcomings, mistakes and flaws. And finally - accepting and accepting your imperfection is a protection against perfectionism (which, after all, is not healthy or makes you happy) and the way to inner freedom.

At EDU, we are not afraid of imperfections; it is the motivation from which our students and we draw, the motivation to perform subsequent exercises that help to read faster, remember better, associate more diversely, think creatively and look for new ways to solve a given task. Imperfection and weakness can be a great inspiration for actions that will improve and strengthen our lives and ourselves. We only need to look at imperfection and weakness as a starting point, not a destination - as a door that can open for us, not slam shut.

The quoted rules from the article by Joanna Wrześniowska certainly do not exhaust the list of ways to improve life so that - although still imperfect - it is more interesting, calmer and happier. I would add an eleventh rule here, an edu-rule: let's learn new things and let this learning please, entertain and open our eyes to new things, phenomena, thoughts.

And you? What rules of your own would you add to this list?